The Great Britannica

The Great Britannica is shutting its gates forever”, she said.

“This is our last chance to go visit... the last 80 days”

I sneaked a peek into the schedule in her hand. The yellowing paper broken at its edges, the old school cursive script a tint of brown- It all looked like it belonged to another time.

Why a shutdown?, I wondered

I don’t have a visa to get there, be part of the last 80 days. The line outside the consulate will be a long one. How will I get there? I want to be there! London!, My mind rambled away.

Wait! I grabbed the schedule off her hands –

“Flying trapeze artists, Fire eaters, the bearded lady and talking lions”, What is this all about?

Uh Oh! A jumped scene. Accidental tap of the Kaleidoscope ONCE AGAIN. Ugh! I need to stop doing this ever so often. It is very confusing to my reality.

The Great Britannica - The circus was to stay in town for two weeks. Twenty years later it was still around. It ruled our hearts and washed out our brain all yellow.

Everyone loves a Circus, we loved it too. We clapped our hands and shrieked in Joy as we saw the Jesters hit each other with giant hammers and cannon ball themselves to faraway places. We sat astounded as the magicians painted us illusions of another world. We loved the oasis of colour and joy, all things wonderful, we would never let it go, never ever.

We plotted and schemed to make them stay, and the circus soon spilled over the town. For twenty years while we stared in awe at all that was vibrant, we lost our own sparkle within. Every day that passed, we clung on tighter, for fear of losing that which was dear.

Soon, the town itself was a circus, with a string of aping monkeys, and folks jumping through loop holes for fun. When that stopped being the fix, we moved to human cannon balls. More brutal, much more entertaining.

Ho hum! All this sadism is not much fun anymore, so we took the toxic to another level. Our hearts soared as blood founts spurted all over; we had finally reached that state of pure joy. This must be what they call Nirvana.

The last of the Magicians lay in the circus tent, the final act by the troupe. Only that he wouldn’t conjure up rabbits and doves out of the hat this time, it was his time to go. As the axe fell to a grand finale, he whispered, The Great Britannica is shutting its gates forever. Last 80 days. The circus is moving to another town

For us the circus ended that day. We were satiated, in a state of bliss. Little did we realise that in the absence of the others, the circus was now us.

The aping monkeys had no one to ape now and soon gave up the ghost, the absence of loop holes made our everyday life more and more tedious...

We had to find our peace; he had to hunt once again. In the midst of the new found realization that the circus was still not dead, we started hunting for that piece of peace, we turned against ourselves.

True to the words of the master illusionist, The Great Britannica shut its gates forever. 80 days, a town painted red, the circus had moved to another town

The Monarch

“ I have been thinking about what hurts more the jar or the pins. And I think I can tell you that it is not the pins. Because the monarch in the jar is already dead when it comes to the pins. At some point things stop hurting; and from inside the jar, with eyes that see in all directions, maybe it is possible to look into the future, well beyond the pins, to where the compass in your head tells you that you need to go”

These lines from the movie PU 239, have been stuck in the crinkles of my cranium for a while now. They are for me, a story of the phoenix rising from the dead. A story that can be, only if the Monarch is ready to rise.

At some point things do stop hurting. But does all the hurt make the Monarch stronger or leaves him numbed, with a broken soul?

By the time one sees that glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel, is it possibly too late? Is it possible that the bonds of the jar and miseries of life have pinned one enough to not care whether the light at the end of the tunnel is a train heading in their direction?

We struggle through our share of cuffs and chains, and our eyes, through the glaze, see the beautiful future ahead. A beautiful future , so surreal, of another world, and the mind refuses to believe. And yet, with a future as an excuse we continue to tread - Eyes shut tight, fingers crossed “Please let it be true, Please let there be that heaven I was promised”

Leave all the fun for the "One fine day in some remote future ahead", now is about the challenges. Now is about following rules blindly and suffering, for some day else will be a day to rejoice.

When did we pin ourselves into these jars? How did we forget, it is within us to break ourselves free?

It is time for the Monarch to ride the zephyr once again. Time to break the Jar. The power to break free is in the Now, not some distant future ahead.

Will the Monarch rise from the dead though, will he take back his throne in the winds!?

********* 28th September 2010 *********

Came across the Big Fuzz Skeptical Caterpillar in my inbox, reminded me of my Monarch . It's quite an interesting tale.... The Big Fuzzy Caterpillar

Sleep Walking the Walk of Life

"Azure , when she was a baby slept off as soon as she got into the car", I overheard my mum say.

I smirked, thought of the many times I had heard that, not too long ago

"Azure still sleeps off as soon as she is put into the car" , I mumbled to myself.

~ JUMP SCENE ~

"Is that a new painting on the wall? " I asked my pal

"NO"

"How the heck did I never see this before?"

"Must have slept through it" , we said in unison

We broke into peals of laughter. Very Funny.

Azure became the butt of all jokes sleepy. Be it sleep talking for a "M&M Candy" breakfast in bed, being woken up in the middle of a guided tour - WAKE UP! Look around , you're on vacation or never being able to recognise what part of the city it is, even after having driven around the place a million times (all while in slumberland!)

Thirty something years of a daze. Some crystal clear moments of a beautiful dream like quality, the rest of it a blur. The sleep over the last few years gradually grew to become an issue . I never did decipher the subtle signs, the fact that my life was headed to becoming somewhat mechanical & pointless.

And while I sleep walked to the edge of the cliff, Miss life smacked another lesson into my face.

" Love sleeping with your eyes open, don't you?"

"No more subtleties then"

"Here, sleep , sleep and sleep some more until you decide to wake up!

Azure was cursed to stay in slumberland, until she decided to take the reins of her life in her own hands and tread forward with her eyes wide open.

Ever noticed, if you are allowed an addiction, sans guilt, you eventually do get over it!? Become more responsible about it?

It is ingrained in me, testing the boundaries, wanting to do more, wanting to do exactly what the other person said not to do or said I cannot do. More the restrictions around something , greater the thrills of putting it as an accomplishment on the records.

All that was accomplishment once, did not resonate with Azure anymore. It all seemed like it was someone else's, and the one thing she had become good at, "Sleep Walking", was now being forced upon her in all obviousness. Not something she liked very much.

But then, a curse is a curse, and sleep I would have to. There is no kiss from a handsome prince that would bring me to life this time. I would have to be my own true love now, and bring me back from the dead.

So I slept and I slept for many years thereafter, with an air of dark around me.

How could Azure awaken herself from death like slumber? Especially, someone who slept through her waking hours, how would she ever awaken in her sleep?

I have always loved the loop holes in fairy tales. There is always a way to break the curse. A fairy godmother, the prince or a toad. Always the means available when you have a purpose in mind. The portal to the happy ever after. Azure got her share of the loop hole too. Azure got her dreams.

So as I slept, my dreams came visiting, and every dream that came by awakened me some more. The dreams that I never could recall once, when they woke me up, now spoke to me as I slept. I saw the minutest detail of everything it showed me, my own personal bioscope to the world of the animate.

Everyday, Azure saw the picture a little clearer than the day before, everyday she focused some more. The day came soon enough when she saw it all crystal clear in her head. She finally saw what she wanted to see, and not the picture tinted by someone elses expectation or the urge to prove someone wrong.

I finally found the NOW, where I belong and could stay inanimate no more. I woke up to a beautiful dream, that was a dream no more, never to sleep walk again.

Mystery of a Plan

How do I make a five year plan , when I don’t even know what tomorrow will be like!? Yes, in my head, tomorrow will be identical to today. Not too many day- to - day variances when you are running in a full-fledged power saving mode. But then, there is still scope of a random phone call, a conversation or a reading that would trigger something to break the pattern.

How much into the future can you see? How clear is the future you see?

I have been asked to make five year plans before, but never been taught how to make one. Weird enough, I don’t think anyone I know has had a clue about it themselves, and if they did, they have guarded it like their best known secret. Well, that or I being the proud epitome of impulsive and random never bothered to ask. Plans never work for me, I always said.

Whatever the case, this one is now turning out to be just as obscure as gazing into the crystal ball and fortune telling.

This art of planning is something one is born with, I have started to believe. I surely missed the whole lesson on plans when it was being taught in some remote corner of the galaxy. As usual, I may have been up to learning some “more important” random lessons somewhere else.

With a void in my head where the lesson was supposed to be, I decided to try unravelling the mystery on my own.

It’s been close to two weeks since I started pondering on this one, and while it was triggered by a catalytic little incident, a plan chalked out in oblivion. I believe I may have cracked the code.

There are text books that will give you all the theory you need about plans, business plans to be more specific, but, it is only knowledge. You gain some, you lose some, it is just data, and is useless unless you know how to apply it. The true value is in its application. Life is surely more than planning about business, and I haven’t come across any text books telling me how to plan my life, a bigger issue that, compared to a Business Plan. Planning your life is something you just do along the way.

So we plan, a 99.9% in B School, work for a Fortune 100 company, get married by the age of 28, have kids by the age of 32 , make the first billion by the age of 40. Sure, this is a great wish list, but is there a detailed plan around this? Are the action steps well defined and do we have counter measures for the possible glitches. Most ideas fail because of a lack of proper planning. We leave half baked thoughts floating in space, hoping for them to find their way home. They eventually do find their way home, but they also bring along the 3 little pigs and the big bad wolf, because we let those thoughts wandering without specific instructions - "Don't talk to strangers"

We wonder where we are headed as time and again we encounter road blocks, twisted wishes and everything ugly. Wonder where we went wrong.

In time comes realization,even if your life seems like a chain of random events, a crack of lightening through the gray clouds over your head,one fine day, exposes the order in the chaos, brings into vision all that fits perfectly in the divine plan. While some seem to have a head start, eventually we all catch up.

A plan is all about being able to clearly see your objective, your cause. The machinery of this world runs on planning. We run our own personal universes, all our individual universes fitting into the master plan.

The towers touching the sky were built by architects who could imagine these tall structures speaking to the sky, no scope for mistakes, they imagined it all, the foundation, the concrete mix, the earthquake resistance, the tint on the glasses, they saw it all.

It is only with such depth of detailing can we plan, and plan right. There are no uncertainties, no coincidences. You design your own fate. You plan the future you want. It’s up to you to blind walk the road or rid yourself of the blind fold and be aware of every step you take and the consequences of each step, absorb the scenery.

Being an optimist is great. If you are one like I am, faith should come fairly easy. The difficult lesson though will be preparing for adversities. In our world, everything is perfect and when we are hit with a not so ideal situation, we break, and how. We eventually do rise like the phoenix from the ashes, but it would be so much better if we didn’t burn to ashes every time there was a fire and had a fire extinguisher handy, just in case.

A good plan is one in which we can clearly see our goal, and the path to our goal. The clarity of path includes visions of all possible road blocks and solutions to get past them. It is an exciting adventure, this treasure hunt, with codes to decipher and riddles to solve, each step taking us to a higher level.

Easy Peasy, Exciting? Now all we need is a purpose, a cause we feel for. An active imagination. And Faith, tons of it.

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08 Jun 10

I am still learning the art of detailing, and here's something that I found - a brilliant tool for planning. It's a step-by-step methodology for chalking out a plan. Check it out http://chrisguillebeau.com/Ideal-World.doc

Better Still! Chris Guillebeau's Guide to World Domination . I broke into a Joy Dance after this one ;D